We think we know our partner very well. But, do we ever spend a moment thinking of his/her perception about us ? To understand cause and effect, it is necessary to build up awareness for the partner. A quality that leads to respect and acceptance.
The answer is to build awareness for the partner, to understand what he/she likes and dislikes. Herewith we are able to understand, respect and finally accept our partner.
Awareness for physical properties, flaws or weakness, likes and dislikes.
For example, a short and tiny lady, might find a tall and heavy guy difficult to handle. Thus, she might feel him to heavy and to strong. In contrary, another lady with the same physical condition, might just like those attributes. She will feel save and protected.
On his part, he might like the lady’s tenderness and lightness. Or in opposite, another man will miss some resistance, some presence.
With other words, there is no one absolute way, no exact recipe we could rely on. After all, misunderstandings arise exactly out of these discrepancies.
The idea to know about all these attributes is not by asking verbally. The intention is to increase awareness for the partner and find out all these details with sensibility. It’s about feeling the partner’s body and intention.
Feel how is his/her reaction to your presence. While you vary your intention a bit, you will learn to understand your partner’s reaction. This is an interesting game to play, just without words.
In case you realise physical or technical weakness, it is worthless to intend on contra productive movements.
💔 Missing awareness for the partner, we can see often in Milongas. Usually men exercise their repertoire without even realising, that the partner is not enjoying the whole procedure. On the other hand, we sometimes witness, that followers are busy with themselves instead of listening to the partner’s intention. Awareness building is important for men and women.
Awareness for the partner ‘s attributes.
In our first session we have learned to dust out all our own short comings. Now it is to know and to understand our partner. With awareness we learn to know and to accept. The base to create a proper body language to overcome barriers.
Check on your partner in that way that you sense his/her body. Feel and listen to his/her movements. Vary your intention from time to time to find out likes and dislikes.
How is his/her connection with a partner ?
Do I feel her presence good or miserable? Sometimes a bad connection has its reason in physical inflexibility or mental fear of closeness. Does he/she avoid certain embraces, certain moves?
After all, there might be some physical barriers that seem to be impossible to overcome. Ask you teacher for tips and hints for specific situations.
In conclusion and together with your teacher, you may find out a specific technic. A method to avoid negative consequences from physical weakness for your partner.
Better understanding for your partner will bring respect and acceptance.
With time you will achieve a lot of experiences which will help to analyse different body types. You will get some routine to manage your own posture and embrace to the preferences of your partner. The more expereinced dancer will adjust to the less experienced one.
Certainly, this newly achieved routine to build up awareness for your partner will develop respect for your partner. Furthermore, you will gain respect for yourself as well.
With this new feeling of confidence, you will be the best assistance for your partner , even without correcting her/him .
Now, you are ready for the next session. Acknowledge the music with the same respect and acceptance.
Related article :
Self-awareness – Tango Meditation Seminar 1
Awareness for the music – Tango Meditation Seminar 3
